Well, now you can change all that. Harpocrates Speaks brings you Chelation Therapist!
That's right. With Chelation Therapist, you can develop your own evidence-free therapies that are one-size fits all! Want to boost the immune system? Just inject a little urine. Autism? Use your very own experimental chelation cream! Breast cancer? Chelate! Prostate cancer? Chelate? Lung cancer? Chelate! Chelate! Chelate! And should the local medical board look askance at your maverick ways, just use your political influence to change the laws and hamstring those "rabid dogs"! Easy as buttering up some bread.
Chelation Therapist stands 5¾" tall and comes with:
- Urine-filled syringe
- Experimental chelation cream
The Fine Print
Figure not actually for sale. Figure and text intended as a work of satire. Image copyright Todd W. and Lil Peck. Quacktion Figure™ is a trademark of Todd W. and Harpocrates Speaks.
Complete Quacktion Figure™ series