What happened? What changed my mind? Last weekend, I attended the Pharma-sponsored Midwest Conference on Vaccines. This is the first time I've been to this conference, now in its sixteenth year, and the first time I've met many of my blogging colleagues face-to-face. Normally, all of my dealings with the inner workings of the pro-vaccine machine have been through email or snail mail. I get my orders. I write. I get paid. Simple, easy money. To say that this conference was an eye-opening experience is an understatement.
|Source: The Vaccine Machine|
Jarring though this all was, I put it aside. I was here to learn more about how to do a better job selling the pro-pharma message so I could increase my income and possibly afford that lovely 6 bedroom house with the three-car garage and pool and hot tub in the back that I've had my eye on. At any rate, I found a seat for the plenary session.
The Media, Cash and You
|ANB's Favorite Tool|
The plenary session was followed by a number of breakout sessions. Since I knew several of the presenters online, I thought it would be a good opportunity to finally meet them in person.
How to Be an Epidemiologist When You're Not
|Photo credit: Michael Gil|
Respect the Masters: Maximizing Your Income Potential
"Respect the Masters: Maximizing Your Income Potential" was a panel discussion that included Dr. David Gorski, Dr. Matt Carey and Liz Ditz. Each participant presented their own perspectives on how best to please Lord Draconis Zeneca and one's pharma overseers, in turn getting the most financial returns for your efforts. All three are established bloggers taking different approaches to spreading pro-vaccine propaganda. Dr. Gorski is one of the most-read, influential bloggers around and is arguably one of the most prolific, pumping out lengthy posts on a daily basis. He discussed several different approaches that have netted him a very comfortable life. Designing research to produce results favorable to his pharma overlords was a given, but he also discussed the numerous alter egos he uses. Numbering in the hundreds, he admitted that the effort consumes a great deal of time, but the payoff is well worth it. This approach gives the appearance that there are far more pro-vaccine voices than the smattering there really are.
Dr. Carey is an autism parent and successful blogger in his own right. His financial success and position within the conspiracy has come largely through writing about autism and vaccine research. He found that by putting studies into lay terms that make it seem to the average sheeple that autism and vaccines are not connected at all and that vaccines are safe and effective. This not only pleases pharma, but lulls people into complacency.
|Source. Click to enlarge.|
I have to say, I debated whether or not to include a description of this session. I expect that within hours (at the most) of posting this, the black helicopters will be closing on my location. However, I feel that revealing these tactics is worth more than my own well-being.
|Source: Age of Autism|
WI-38 and MRC-5: Limitations of Diploid Cell Lines
Still a little shaken from the display at lunch, I made my way to a room that was already packed by the time I got there. I found a space to stand against the wall for "WI-38 and MRC-5: Limitations of Diploid Cell Lines", a presentation by Dr. Paul Offit about WI-38 and MRC-5, human cell lines used in the production of measles and rubella vaccines, among others. Basically, in the 1960s, a pregnant woman who had been infected with rubella had an abortion because of the risks of congenital rubella syndrome. Samples were taken from the fetus' lungs and eventually developed into a cell line (WI-38) used as media to grow vaccine-strain rubella and measles viruses, among others. Some anti-vaxers would characterize this as vaccines containing aborted fetal tissue, even though that is wrong. That's essentially the same as saying that if I have a smoothie made from the extract of a modern Cavendish banana, then that smoothie contains 200-year old Musa acuminata, the wild progenitor of modern bananas. Dr. Offit explained that while the WI-38 strain does not contain actual aborted fetal tissue, they do have some limitations. It turns out that pharma scientists have discovered that using tissue from freshly aborted fetuses greatly enhances a vaccine's ability to create Delta worker drones. As a result, newer vaccines actually contain aborted children, unlike vaccines made using the WI-38 or MRC-5 cell lines.
That was too much. Learning that pharma are actively aborting children for use in vaccines, coming so soon after that lunch... I just couldn't take it anymore. I left right away. That glimpse into the inner workings of the global vaccine conspiracy and learning that anti-vaxers have been right all along was a real wake-up call. I have agonized over this post and over my role in the vaccine-caused autism epidemic designed to create pliable worker drones, all for the profit of the conspirators. I hereby vow to turn over a new leaf and trumpet all of the talking points that anti-vaxers have been repeating for the past couple decades, all those points that I once thought were spurious misrepresentations of science and, in some cases, outright lies. Never again will I say that fine, upstanding and truth-loving organizations like the National Vaccine Information Center or Age of Autism leave out important information that create a false and misleading impression of vaccines, because they would never do that.
I'm turning over a new leaf. From now on, I will endeavor to be, like Brian Hooker, a "fellow advocate for the end of vaccination". Needless to say, I won't be attending the Pharma Shill Conference this June.
Author's note: Just for the humor impaired, this post is satire. I shouldn't have to state that, but you never know who might take this seriously. So, satire inspired by what anti-vaccine advocates have actually said about pro-vaccine writers.