Well, fret no more. Harpocrates Speaks brings you Chiropractor!
That's right. With Chiropractor, you can dream up your own theory of disease based on non-existent spinal displacements and pinched nerves. No matter how unconnected with the musculoskeletal system, you can claim to cure anything with a simple shove of the vertebrae using your Chiropractic Adjusting Tool (C.A.T.). Kid have an earache? No problem! Don't worry that no auditory nerves pass through the spine; just a quick twist of the neck is all it takes. Diagnose all manner of diseases using your patented e-meter. Measure the non-existent "innate intelligence" and interpret the readings to mean anything you want! And with the flexible model of the human spine, you can demonstrate how misalignments of the vertebrae look so scary to remind them that regular treatments are needed. Keep 'em coming "back" for more!
Chiropractor stands 5¾" tall and comes with:
- Chiropractic Adjusting Tool (C.A.T.)
- Flexible model of the spine
The Fine Print
Figure not actually for sale. Figure and text intended as a work of satire. Image copyright Todd W. and Lil Peck. Quacktion Figure™ is a trademark of Todd W. and Harpocrates Speaks.
Complete Quacktion Figure™ series